May 12, 2013
Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was a Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests. Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
Before I was a Mom
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much love or so much pain before I was a Mom.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
— Author unknown
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers in my life, young and old. You are amazing.
May 8, 2013
Gavin had his 4 hour diagnostic evaluation at ChildServe last Friday and it went very well. There were so many factors that could have made it a difficult day (who wants to sit and be tested for four hours??) But he was happy, alert, “on”, and throughout the test he kept exclaiming, “This is SO fun!” And he totally meant it.
I have to give huge props to his tutors at Educational Resources for all their work over the past year and a half. The test he took Friday mirrored the activities he has been doing there for the past several months. He did well because he was confident in his abilities and we have them to thank.
The official report won’t be back for a few months, but I was able to meet with the psychologist and therapist who tested him and their initial findings are that he will keep his PDD (pervasive developmental disorder) diagnosis for now. They believe strongly that he has a language processing issue and that is something totally “fixable.” His brain is wired differently, but through various therapies it can be “re-wired”, so to speak. Ultimately, that means more therapy time which makes me slightly crazy (only because I feel like we spend so much time there as it is), but I know it’s best so we’ll do it. Obviously.
We also have decided to home school again this fall. Gavin did fantastic and I finally (now that it’s May!) feel like I have a better understanding of what works and doesn’t. This past January we had applied to open-enroll him in one of the online schools that is offered in our state but we were denied access by Des Moines Public Schools. We’re not allowed to leave the district….unless we move. It’s so awesome that the state gets to determine where I send my child. I thought we lived in a free country, but I guess I was mistaken………Man, don’t get me started.
And for anyone interested, Josh will be on WHO Radio (1040 AM) at 9AM tomorrow with Judy Hintz, owner of Educational Resources (who also feels very strongly about the way education is failing our children). Should be some interesting conversation!
April 24, 2013
Friday Night Movie Night. Ever since the boys have started school, Friday night finally feels like a Friday night. Ya know what I mean? When they were toddlers, every day felt the same since we were home all the time together. Now after a long week of school, sports, therapies, tutoring, etc, Friday nights are a welcome relief. And Friday Night Movie Nights were born. Something the kids look forward to all week. We eat a quick dinner (usually pizza) and then everybody gets jammies on. There’s usually popcorn involved too of course.
I try to pick a movie that no one has seen and is obviously age appropriate. We tend to be pretty strict with what we allow, so finding a decent movie every week has proved to be kind of hard. Thank goodness for the oldies! So far Swiss Family Robinson has been one of the boys’ favorites. (You can’t compete with living in a tree, having wild animals for pets, and getting to fight pirates-it’s every boys’ dream!) Brave, How to Train a Dragon and Wreck It Ralph have been some of the new movie favorites.
Cuddle time with the brothers lasted about 30 seconds. They NEVER move during a movie. Sister, on the other hand, is too busy.
More cuddles then she decided she needed some juice
Then she spilled
Nudity is preferred until she gets chilly. Hence the hat.
FNMN is such fun family thing that we all look forward to. I hope this continues well into the teenage years. We’ll just pull up some more chairs for the kids’ friends to hang out too.
April 1, 2013
Since I can’t seem to blog regularly, here’s a quick look at what we’ve been up to these past few weeks:
“Sue” at the Science Center
Thanks again, Uncle Chris, for the shirts! They were perfect for this trip!
Aaaaannnnnnnd this girl doesn’t really like wearing shirts at all.
These two have discovered the fun of playing hide and seek. Although they both count at the same time, then run and hide. But apparently it works for them!
Easter cousins minus sleeping Thatcher.
Man! Could she be any cuter??!!
Happy Monday all!
March 28, 2013
I have the same thought every March as Liam nears another birthday. He was never supposed to be here. I had a miscarriage about a year and a half after Gav was born. If that baby had lived, Liam would not be in this world today. That’s a weird thought. At the time we were devastated. Little did we know what God had in store.
Liam turned 6 last Sunday. He’s been telling me for awhile now that he wants to stay 6 forever (although I’m sure that will change the closer he gets to his 7th birthday). It’s mind blowing to me that he’s that old already.
Happy 6th to my sweet, sensitive, compassionate, funny, smart, gentle, loving boy. I’m thankful every day for you and I absolutely cannot imagine my life without you.
March 12, 2013
I should just come to expect that every week when we arrive at therapy, one of Gavin’s therapists is going to tell me she’s leaving. Happened today. AGAIN. This year alone we’ve lost (or are losing in the very near future) three. Since last fall, the total makes six. It’s a very good thing that Gav’s a go-with-the-flow kind of kid because this would be a whole heck of a lot harder if he wasn’t. I’m very thankful for that. But still. It’s very frustrating.
On to better things…..
I took this guy to the eye doctor for his yearly checkup and he couldn’t see ANY of the letters on the sight screen. Wow. I had no idea. I felt really bad. He was very excited to get glasses (I was secretly thrilled too-I love kids in glasses!) So far he loves them and hasn’t had any issues getting used to them. Of course, Liam immediately tells me everything is fuzzy too. Oh dear.
And these two are buds……sometimes…….
February 24, 2013
I was very bummed when we got more snow this week. These 45+degree days sprinkled here and there this winter has made me long for spring and I’m not much of a cold weather/snow person anyway (especially when school doesn’t get cancelled for it).
But of course the boys were excited for more snow because that means SLEDDING!!! We live right down the street from a great golf course with huge hills that are perfect when covered in snow. (And I was very thankful for sunshine today. That makes the snow a bit more bearable).
This was Sloane’s first time on the “slopes” and she loved it.
Gav and Cousin Eisley lookin hip even sledding. I swear that girl is the most stylish 2 year old I know!
The only problem with going down……….
is having to come back up.
First make a giant spider web out of duct tape. Then tear up an old magazine and ball them into “spiders”. Toss the spiders onto the tape to stick. You can make all kinds of games/races out of this. I think the boys had more fun destroying the magazine than they did actually throwing the balls. Pretty fun and it kept them busy for almost an hour.
And when it was all said and done, she was the first to offer to clean up.
February 20, 2013
Remember how I mentioned that Gav’s new speech therapist was already leaving us?
A week ago was supposed to be her last session with us. She was sick and had a sub. So we’ll never see her again. She called to tell me a few days after that who would be replacing her. “She’s great,” she said. “I think she’ll be a great fit for Gavin.”
Fast forward again to this past Monday (the day before our next therapy session with our new therapist). My mom tells me she met Gav’s new therapist at church. She’s actually friends with my sister. Here’s the kicker………she’s looking for a new job and is planning to leave. So our newest therapist (whom we haven’t even met yet) is planning her exit strategy. Once she was assigned Gavin, she put two and two together that Gav was Katie’s nephew. She felt so bad because she was familiar with our past situation and knew she was planning to leave too but she hadn’t told anyone yet so she couldn’t decline him as a client. She filled my mom and sis in on the situation and asked what she should do.
So, there ya have it. The latest saga of our therapists. Since she’s not leaving YET and we haven’t decided what we’re going to do (is it time for us to leave???)……we just decided to keep meeting until one of us ends up leaving. “M” seems really sweet and it’s a fun connection for Gav that she knows his aunt.
I’m just very tired of all the unknowns.
May 3rd Gavin is scheduled for his 3 hour diagnostic evaluation. This could possibly change everything. We’ve decided not to make any decisions until we see what his new diagnosis will be. Until then we wait…….and hope “M” sticks around at least until then.
February 14, 2013
February 5, 2013
Click to another blog if you don’t want to hear me blabber on about school anymore, because that’s what I’m about to do. I stumbled across this article online a few weeks ago. I read it and cried. All you have to do is change the names and you have our story. This problem is not just our isolated incident, it’s happening all over the country. As a whole, schools do not care for those children who are struggling. They are concerned with academics and test scores, making sure they are meeting the goals set by the higher ups. Kids like Henry….and Gavin, who struggle silently are being left to fend for themselves. I saw this countless times last year with Gavin’s clueless teacher. (And for the record, I have heard several more unsettling stories about this particular teacher from other parents so I retract my earlier statement that she just didn’t know how to help Gavin, because now I firmly believe she didn’t give a damn).
I also want to state, for the record, that I have several very good friends who are teachers who truly do care about the kids who are struggling. I think they would agree with me when I talk about the school system as a whole failing our children. In no way am I counting out the teachers who truly are trying to make a difference.
Have you seen Waiting for Superman yet? (I think I’ve mentioned this documentary before. It’s available for streaming on Netflix).
If you have school aged kids PLEASE see this. It makes me thankful we live where we do but things are still SO bad everywhere. It saddens me deeply and I only see this problem getting worse.
We were also hit with another blow this morning. Gavin’s new speech therapist (the one who came highly recommended by his last one) is leaving. Next Tuesday is her last session with Gav. She promised me she’d find someone else who would be a good fit. After all this, after all the changes we’ve seen over the past few months, I’m greatly wondering if our time here is done. I don’t know. I’m so in the dark right now. I left a message for Gav’s old therapist (ie:my favorite person who’s ever worked with him). I’m very interested to see what she has to say. And in my dreams she’ll tell me that she’s started her own company and will gladly take Gavin on as her first client…………..