Regression

Gavin has regressed.  A lot.  I’d say this is probably the most autistic I have ever seen him.  His verbal repetitions are very regular-lots of rote phrases and he won’t let us use his name EVER, he’s been “isming” (stimming) quite a bit, and he now does this thing where he looks at things with his head down or tilted at an angle.  He was starting to do that before we left and I was wondering if it may be time for a vision check  (I have horrible vision and started wearing glasses when I was 6, so it could possibly be his eyesight).   Or, it could just be that he’s been out of sorts all week and this is the result.

It’s not like he didn’t have an absolute fantastic time staying with Grandpa and Grandma or the lovely Saldanhas, but I think that it’s hard to understand what Massachusetts is when you’re 4 AND autistic.  So what if mommy and daddy went to MA.  What the heck is that?  So what if they’ll be back on Saturday.  When’s Saturday?  He struggles with concepts of time so informing him of when we’re coming back means nothing to him either. 

A few days before we left I told the boys what would be happening for the next week and I had begun to notice more repetitious behavior from Gavin starting then……I just didn’t realize it’d get so much worse over the week.  I figured we’d have to detox them from all the fun and excitement of the week and that maybe they’d be a little naughty for a while, but I never counted on this.  It’s really heartbreaking and it makes me want to cry.

We learned so much from the conference that I know we can pull him out of this quickly, but it saddens my heart that he’s crept more inside himself to find comfort in a situation he does not understand and cannot control.  He’ll be ok.  I’ll be ok.  It’s just going to take some time. 

(As a side note to my wonderful mom and sis, there is absolutely nothing you guys could have done differently to prevent this!  Please don’t blame yourselves!)