Motherhood

May 12, 2013

Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Spit on.
Chewed on.
Pottied on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests. Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.

Before I was a Mom
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much love or so much pain before I was a Mom.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
— Author unknown

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers in my life, young and old.  You are amazing. 

 

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Gavin had his 4 hour diagnostic evaluation at ChildServe last Friday and it went very well.  There were so many factors that could have made it a difficult day (who wants to sit and be tested for four hours??)  But he was happy, alert, “on”, and throughout the test he kept exclaiming, “This is SO fun!” And he totally meant it.

I have to give huge props to his tutors at Educational Resources for all their work over the past year and a half.  The test he took Friday mirrored the activities he has been doing there for the past several months.  He did well because he was confident in his abilities and we have them to thank.

The official report won’t be back for a few months, but I was able to meet with the psychologist and therapist who tested him and their initial findings are that he will keep his PDD (pervasive developmental disorder) diagnosis for now.  They believe strongly that he has a language processing issue and that is something totally “fixable.”  His brain is wired differently, but through various therapies it can be “re-wired”, so to speak.  Ultimately, that means more therapy time which makes me slightly crazy (only because I feel like we spend so much time there as it is), but I know it’s best so we’ll do it.  Obviously.

We also have decided to home school again this fall.  Gavin did fantastic and I finally (now that it’s May!) feel like I have a better understanding of what works and doesn’t.  This past January we had applied to open-enroll him in one of the online schools that is offered in our state but we were denied access by Des Moines Public Schools.  We’re not allowed to leave the district….unless we move.  It’s so awesome that the state gets to determine where I send my child.  I thought we lived in a free country, but I guess I was mistaken………Man, don’t get me started.

And for anyone interested, Josh will be on WHO Radio (1040 AM) at 9AM tomorrow with Judy Hintz, owner of Educational Resources (who also feels very strongly about the way education is failing our children).  Should be some interesting conversation!